I struggle with monotony. I procrastinate. I never feel like I’m doing enough. To serve others, to find opportunities. To thrive.
Although, I am learning as these 5 babies of mine keep growing, I love the normal days. The monotony of laundry, the messy kitchen and the never ending cooking cycles. I am learning to appreciate driving to and from school and even making lunches day after day.
As these years go by, the more we know. The more we learn about how scary this world can be and the weight of our decisions. My oldest child, 13, is saving for a motorcycle. A motorcycle. Because he researched and found out you can have a license at 15 years old. Although, I love seeing him research and save his hard earned money, he is going to be very upset when I tell him he is NOT getting a motorcycle. All the what if’s and the memories flood my brain of stories of fatal accidents. But when he’s a grown man, I can’t stop him.
As these years go by, the more wonderfully terrifying stories we hear of another child battling cancer, or another car accident across town, or a mom having heart attack way too soon or God forbid another shooting. Every ache and pain becomes a worry and even a sleepless night. Every news alert, closing our eyes and praying it doesn’t affect our loved ones.
Yes, a normal day is grace from God. A free gift for us to cherish.
Yesterday, could have been something other than normal. But it wasn’t. Everything was “normal.”
Gabi’s cardiology check up. Her ECHO, EKG, and bloodwork all came back normal for her. She is doing so great!
God is so good, he moved us near an amazing new hospital that is 35 minutes away and he blessed us with an unbelievable cardiologist that in a very short time hugs me upon arrival. Gab’s heart is still large and works very hard. But her muscle is the same as it was 6 months ago!! Her blood pressure is low, but he is OK with that. It’s probably result of her medications. Dr. R sits with me and explains any research developments and what the future might look like. He tells me about the single ventricle patients that he sees that are now 19 and 20 years old. He gives me so much hope for my sweet girl!
Hope and normalcy. Sunshine and laughter. Tough love and lots of driving. Tears and sweat. Lots of prayer and forgiveness. Friendship and family. Oh this life is so good. And I would say this life is so good even if Gabi’s appointment didn’t go well. Because I know there will be a day when a future appointment will bring lots of tears and a plan of action for Gabi’s heart. But until then, I will celebrate the normalcy!
GI and neurology check ups next month. Feeding is still the same. She weighed in at 37 lbs. not great. We were on the edge of another “failure to thrive” diagnosis. I have a month to avoid that with GI. Still using the G-tube a lot more than I want to, but that is OK. It’s what she needs right now. And that G-tube, that little plastic tube, is so much more than a simple medical device, it is life saving and for that, I am grateful.
So much love all-around. God is good… all the time!