Tag Archives | growth

Strength

Even though Gabi is doing well, I gaze at her from across the room or over her bedside and think how am I going to keep this up for the next few months/years…I don’t know how we can maintain this schedule of traveling back and forth. It is exhausting for everyone involved. With the rain and miserable weather, my mother dealt with the kids boredom and crabbiness. Ethan has to go to work and I  sit here more than an hour away in a completely different world.

It is too overwhelming to think about our schedules. Right now, I have a plan until Sunday. And then we’ll make the plan for the next few days and then the next. To think how exhausting this is going to be is just too much sometimes. But patience, more patience and trust in God that he will give us the strength somehow to keep fighting.

I love this comment from our MN cousin. “Because true courage only comes when you have no other choice but to get up in the morning and face what needs to be faced. You do it for your children, you do it for the undying love so many have for you. ” This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Thanks Amy. We will get through this and Gabi will get through this.

She is still holding strong and the docs are still tweeking meds. Her blood pressure is maintaining well and her heart rate is hanging on at about 150-155…which is right where they want it.

One more thing: for some reason, the computer here at the hospital will not let me send emails .I have been trying to send out some emails today, but couldn’t send them. Very frustrating. So I am sorry I still haven’t responded to many people’s voicemails and emails. I am getting them all and loving them so very much. They are indeed carrying us through this.

I can’t wait to see Ethan and the kids tomorrow. We MIGHT get our first family picture with all 4 kids!!!

Love, Teri

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Things learned from a 8 day old

It is interesting to see how much I have learned from Gabrielle in just a short time. When people go through rough times they say it was a gift, and I always thought it was kind of a cliche. Gabrielle has taught me to not be so jaded.

Leaving Teri at the hospital last week was one of the most painful things that I have ever done. Teri was in physical and emotional pain as I left her with only a sick child to think about. It took me a while to get out of the parking garage, and more than once I almost turned around on the expressway. As I kept driving I realized all of the distractions of the world fell away. The personal baggage, the kids, all the physical odds and ends really faded back, and all that is left is how I really feel about my wife. I realized on that long ride back from Wisconsin what it really feels like to love your wife. So much that you will leave her alone and know you will all make it. It is not something I had ever felt before, it was something I had known about, but to feel it that deeply was a new gift.

As I made grilled cheese sandwiches (with jelly on top thanks to a stay with Grandma Colleen) I looked at the children sitting eagerly at the table. I was now truly grateful for the 3 healthy kids I have already been blessed with. I remember when I used to ride/race bikes and would sometimes have a bad crash. The shower afterwords was always pretty painful, and I would think to myself that I took yesterday’s pain-free shower for granted. A few days later things would heal/scab over and soap wasn’t as fearful, and I would really enjoy showers again for a while. God has given me a spiritual crash in baby Gabrielle, and as God heals her He also heals me.

That is Gabrielle’s gift to me, and I can’t wait to thank her.

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